Friday, August 31, 2018

When Blood Is Thicker Than Water

I used to hear this phrase from my parents but it didn't hit me as much as it did last night. I had to force myself to calm down because I was in distraught. When you realise how much of a burden you will be to someone because 1) his family is more important than you 2) how he doesn't want you to hang on to him because he wants you to find your own way then you're kind of at lost, left alone to figure things out. It's as though he already has too much on his shoulder and thinking about me is just another weight for him to carry.

I'm not 100% sold on the idea of constantly moving anyway. If I keep starting over where will that lead me? One thing is for sure, I will be older and may not have the same energy and opportunities as when I was younger. As scary as it is for me I need to be brave enough to stand on my own and carve out a life. Learning to put myself first because I know if we are thrown in the ocean, I will need to learn how to swim while he will save and carry his family with him.